Sunday, December 6, 2009
I pump my fist in anger; I lower my head in pain. My heart so heavy with sorrow, my efforts fall in vain.
My vision I tried to strive for, to fill the world with peace, once thought a noble gesture, my dreams they all but cease.
Impatience my soul’s true anchor, my ego another ton, will I ever feel accomplishment; my heart it seeks the sun?
Why must I wait, my must I fail, my goals be held at bay, why am I not deserving, why today is not my day?
I stand and scream in frustration my voice is seldom heard, is anyone really listening, to these lonely words?
What do you seek that you do not have, your heart must open wide, the dreams you dream, the goals you want, the answers lie inside.
Anger clouds perception and distracts from where you are, that which you are looking for is never really far.
The more you cast your gaze down the road, the journey you will not see, it is when you realize where you are, is when you are truly free.
Your voice is heard, your pain is yours, and you are not alone, but to one who blames and holds contempt, the truth is seldom shown.
I will remain beside you, to help you when you fall; faith and courage stay hopelessness, and help you stand up tall.
How can I feel hopeful when demons test my strength; when I am attacked by mortal sin with a never ending length?
Lust, addiction, desire, self-doubt, mistrust, deceit; how am I to carry on with my morality in retreat?
If I am to live a better life, why is temptation allowed to thrive? How is one truly able to become better, to really feel alive?
I feel the weight increasing, this burden of the flesh, I feel that I will never ever see myself refresh.
It seems that life is often like living in the shade, not that I am free from heat, but that the light does progressively fade.
Yes life is full of hurdles, full of valleys and of peaks. It is also from those very storms that expose the spirit’s leaks.
We must confront the things in life that we most often dread and fear, with these human challenges, our work becomes very clear.
Our scope must often broaden; adding forgiveness and also love, our insights greater deepen, and we seek some solace from above.
These hurdles that you mention filled with temptation and with sin; the solution is not repelling pain, but a connection from within.
I know you feel that you feel forsaken, and that your soul does truly burn, but if you accept these lessons’, true joy is what you earn.
So when life will steal a friend from me, a loved one or a wife, what good does learning a lesson do, when served at the tip of a knife?
If the message cuts us deeply, and our loved ones go away, what kind of sermon do we hear, what does life try to say?
I know that life is fleeting, and we are all on borrowed time, but to pluck someone from their loved ones seems quite an awful crime.
Why would we be placed us on this Earth with specific tasks to do, to only have it whisked away, our moments lived too few?
Is this retribution for misdeeds of a kind; because it sure is punishing, and to see a lesson I’ve fallen blind?
If life was so predictable from your very birth, the days would have no value or hard to find the worth.
When our days are numbered, and those numbers we don’t know, we shouldn’t miss an opportunity, to let our feelings flow.
To share our thoughts and laughter, and share a gentle touch, to show our love and gratitude with those who mean so much.
However when our loved ones leave us to find a better place, we can soften our deepened sorrow and fill that voided space.
We can lift our heads upward, and life’s tribute we will find, when we focus on not their leaving, but the love they left behind.
I think I see the message, you prove it loud and clear, to find what I have been searching for has always been right here.
I need to practice awareness, also acceptance and compassion; I must also try to seek some help for the life I wish to fashion.
At times I may be strong enough, at times I will fall from grace, and at times I will enjoy the sunshine, sometimes evil I will face.
I must not get ahead of myself, nor look too far behind; I must not become bitter or see life as unkind.
For life is what it is, I must accept, and I do not travel alone, and my love for you restored now God, and thanks for all you’ve shown.
My son I never left you, for that you must be sure, but to gain the greatest insight, some pain you must endure.
It is when we overcome the odds, and weather the winds of pain, is when we finally realize, it is faith and peace we gain.
The lessons we learn are difficult, unique and hard to take, but the main lesson that you must learn, is that you I won’t forsake.
For when you hurt, or are in need, on your knees my name you call, and I will be there in the way you need me to catch you when you fall.
My son I truly love you and all my children just the same, for when you seek the answers, just simply pray my name.
Of all the time I suffered, and dealt with things “alone”, I called your name with venom, I used an awful tone.
I am sorry I ever doubted you; your works I find divine, the wisdom of creation was yours and never mine.
I see there is a plan, in everything you do, and often that the obstacles were to bring me close to you.
I will now try to listen to the lessons you now present, I will no longer sit in anger and my life no more resent.
Thank you God for listening, alone I no more feel, thanks for allowing me close to You, I see you now as real.
I send the water to see how well you swim, and not to watch you drown; my goal is always to lift you up and not to hold you down.
For when things are going perfect and life is worry free, most people find it cumbersome to come and look for me.
Live life by example, and share the peace in which you seek, extend words of compassion, and always help the weak.
Realize that you are not alone in Heaven and in Earth, and that I truly love you, and your life it does have worth.
And when you feel lost, and the way out you can’t see, just know that someone hears you, and with you I will be.