It is during the “right now’s” that I find my greatest gifts. Upon this realization, I lament at the many, many “right now’s” I have let slip through my fingertips. These “right now’s” are moments of gratitude–moments where I realize I am blessed beyond my current deserving–fleeting moments to be cherished.
I find the benevolent, vivid, and enduring gifts available to me when I release yesterday and stop reaching for tomorrow. It is in this state of presence my breath is taken away from me. I am also grateful to realize that it is simply my receptiveness and continual desire for awareness of these “right now’s” that will change my life from having them solely punctuate my life, to harmoniously string them together like notes in one continual glorious song.
It was during a “right now” that I was able to glance to my right. My convertible top was down and the sun was shining. I watched my beautiful daughter fumble to place the Shasta daisy I picked for her behind her ear as the wind tousled her hair with a lively dance. It was “right now” I realized she was no longer my baby. It was “right now” I realized she will always be my baby. Her silhouette is still as angelic as when I held her as an infant.
It was during a “right now” I released my urgency to be anywhere in particular. I decided to stroll into one of those shops–you know the ones you always pass by and wonder what the heck they sell and how they stay in business. It was in this store that had thousands of my life’s artifacts. Not mine personally, but antique and old objects from a time I have long since left in my rear-view mirror. I saw the cup I drank out of when I was a child. The cup that held jelly in our fridge before it was housed in our cupboard. I saw the tacky clock from above our couch. I stood in my childhood kitchen again. For a moment I stood in my childhood again.
It was during a “right now” I remembered what it was like to feel grass under a blanket. It was during a “right now” I realized a picnic with a loved one takes only minutes to plan, and even less time to get somewhere suitable. Something about sitting next to your food on a blanket and trying to keep ants out of it rivals the finest dining. A mosaic of dancing sunbeams that struggle to find you through the branches is the only ambience one needs. You are never too old to wipe watermelon juice off your chin.
It was during a “right now” that I realized that there is something divine about a group of close friends breaking bread together. I find for myself that there is something simply wonderful about sharing a meal. I also enjoy noticing that my wife still laughs at my jokes. I appreciate it is often the dynamic of the group setting that lifts the veil of the mundane and adds spark and levity to the conversation. I also enjoy confirming how much we are all really alike in many ways. We still love each other despite our differences.
It was during a “right now” that I was joined by a friend on my backyard swing. It was my friend who called my attention to the cicada’s song which seems an essential part of summer. She also shared her love of the sound of lawn sprinklers. I listened. I agree. There is nothing like a swing and a friend to unfurl the sail of a “right now” moment.
It was during a “right now” that I shared the moon with my daughter. She shared a star with me. Then she shared another. I found that I am still awestruck by the glory of the canopy of the heaven that is above me. I am still awestruck by the “right now’s” available to me.
The “right now’s” I shared are simply my yesterday–a regular, yet extraordinary day. Placed in the context of an unappreciative eye and hollow heart, these moments could have slipped by unnoticed. It is my strong conviction that the quality of our life is weighted heavily by the emphasis on the attention we give to our “right now’s.”
Right now I leave you and I to go explore our own “right now’s.”
Showing posts with label Presence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Presence. Show all posts
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Time Traveller
Although my abilities to travel time do not have a cool machine with blinking lights and mechanical noises, I do have one of the most effective ways of transcending time at warp speed. My abilities to travel time are discreet. People will not even miss me. Maybe it is my animated doppelganger that lingers in the space I occupied upon my departure. The guy who remains looks like me, acts like me, yet the consciousness and spirit significant of me is far off into another realm.
I travel time a lot. It can be an addiction really and is actually difficult to overcome the urge. Sometimes it requires a focused effort to not achieve lift-off. Since my ability to travel through time is often against my will, I find it nowadays more of a nuisance than a super-power. I find that I don’t want to go. I like it here.
This morning as I write, I have already sped through time, both forward and backwards. I have leapt from one place and time to the next with reckless abandon. My hair a mess, morning clothes on, and coffee mug in hand, I zipped about unnoticed; visiting the times and places that lie in my wake as well as that were awaiting me in the future. The morning quiet was lost upon me. My peaceful solitude I often crave lost through the busy shuffle of experiences I encounter as I traverse time’s boundaries.
Here is an example of a trip:
6:30 am
*Stretch* “Man, this coffee is good. Nice morning.” *Scratch* (Yeah, but it is going to be a busy day. Looks like rain/snow today.) *Lift off has been achieved!*
(I better make sure the kids have warm clothes, I bet it is going to rain when the kids are out of school.)
(Damn, that means traffic will be backed up. I guess I will have to leave early. Last time I had to drive entirely around the block to get in line for the pickup. That day sucked.)
(I guess the economy wouldn’t matter to me so much if I had only made better decisions in the past. Idiot. Heck, even if I started saving in high school, I still would be hurting. High school was fun. On second thought...What was I thinking with that hair? Eighties fashion was a bit outrageous. So was the music. I miss the music sometimes. Reminds me of good times. I wish there were more good times. )
“I have to get the kids up in a few minutes.”
(I hope they don’t start today, like every day, fighting over the blanket. They fight over everything. They still love each other. I guess I will miss this someday. I will miss them when they are gone. I hope they call and visit. I hope my grandkids are as cool as my kids are. They will be. Hopefully)
*Sip* *Click*
“Man, I hate infomercials. I mean, do I really need a Steam Mop?”
(Maybe. Ooh, if I buy one, I get one free? Bonus! We could have used one in our business. Guess that doesn’t matter now. Since it closed and all. I hope we will be alright. I hope we do not lose our home. Forty Five and homeless. Hmmm. We will be okay. Someday.)
*Sip* *Click*
(I remember loving this stuff as a kid. From Speed Racer to G.I. Joe. Times were simpler then. Heck, I loved our sandbox. Especially the one at my grandma’s. I miss Grandmama. I wish kids loved simple toys. Now they all need chargers and cost hundreds of dollars. I hope we can afford Christmas. The holidays are here already. Damn, I have to hang Christmas lights again. I hope it will be a nice day then.)
6:42 am
I have gotten better at my little impromptu trips. They depart less frequently. They depart with less fear and judgment. They used to swiftly snare me and drop me off back in time in the worst situations I could remember. Sometimes in the worst I could conjure.
They could also take me at light speed to my own personal Armageddon–fear greasing the rails and projection pointing the way.
Be where you are when you are there.
I travel time a lot. It can be an addiction really and is actually difficult to overcome the urge. Sometimes it requires a focused effort to not achieve lift-off. Since my ability to travel through time is often against my will, I find it nowadays more of a nuisance than a super-power. I find that I don’t want to go. I like it here.
This morning as I write, I have already sped through time, both forward and backwards. I have leapt from one place and time to the next with reckless abandon. My hair a mess, morning clothes on, and coffee mug in hand, I zipped about unnoticed; visiting the times and places that lie in my wake as well as that were awaiting me in the future. The morning quiet was lost upon me. My peaceful solitude I often crave lost through the busy shuffle of experiences I encounter as I traverse time’s boundaries.
Here is an example of a trip:
6:30 am
*Stretch* “Man, this coffee is good. Nice morning.” *Scratch* (Yeah, but it is going to be a busy day. Looks like rain/snow today.) *Lift off has been achieved!*
(I better make sure the kids have warm clothes, I bet it is going to rain when the kids are out of school.)
*Pause*
“I have to get the kids up in a few minutes.”
(I hope they don’t start today, like every day, fighting over the blanket. They fight over everything. They still love each other. I guess I will miss this someday. I will miss them when they are gone. I hope they call and visit. I hope my grandkids are as cool as my kids are. They will be. Hopefully)
*Sip* *Click*
“Man, I hate infomercials. I mean, do I really need a Steam Mop?”
(Maybe. Ooh, if I buy one, I get one free? Bonus! We could have used one in our business. Guess that doesn’t matter now. Since it closed and all. I hope we will be alright. I hope we do not lose our home. Forty Five and homeless. Hmmm. We will be okay. Someday.)“Oh boy. Another cartoon to sell a toy. Japanese animation no doubt. Why can’t they sync the mouth to the words?”
(I remember loving this stuff as a kid. From Speed Racer to G.I. Joe. Times were simpler then. Heck, I loved our sandbox. Especially the one at my grandma’s. I miss Grandmama. I wish kids loved simple toys. Now they all need chargers and cost hundreds of dollars. I hope we can afford Christmas. The holidays are here already. Damn, I have to hang Christmas lights again. I hope it will be a nice day then.)I am exhausted. In twelve minutes I have ventured back in time hours, days, and even forty years. I have also travelled ahead in time from later this afternoon to the birth of my grandchildren.
I spend a lot of time during the day simply praying to get a few moments of stillness, the kind of stillness that can only come from the quiet hours of early morning accompanied by a hot cup of your favorite coffee while your loved ones sleep. I’m often too busy travelling.
I have gotten better at my little impromptu trips. They depart less frequently. They depart with less fear and judgment. They used to swiftly snare me and drop me off back in time in the worst situations I could remember. Sometimes in the worst I could conjure.
They could also take me at light speed to my own personal Armageddon–fear greasing the rails and projection pointing the way.
Be where you are when you are there.
I have learned that peace is in presence. My past can no longer haunt me if I do not allow it space in today. My past is a great teacher, yet cannot become a demon unless I choose to demonize it. I can keep it locked in its cage. Sure it can growl and rattle, but I am safe in my present awareness.
The future? I will just have to wait until I get there. Since it has not happened yet, it is no more toxic than the poison I choose to paint it with. Why not use crayon? It is more colorful and fun!
Dreams are fun and memories grand. The ability to whisk ourselves away to forgotten times and unknown lands can provide solace in the mundane. Use your travel abilities with discretion my friends. Sometimes it is okay to go on a little trip. I mean, how many Steam Mops do we need anyway?
Related Post by: Every Woman's Guide To Life ~ Catch Me If You Can
Related Post by: Every Woman's Guide To Life ~ Catch Me If You Can






