(Don't) Quit Your Day Job

     Sitting here this Sunday eve, I start to feel the effects of PMS; “Pre-Monday Syndrome.” Now mind you I am blessed in the fact that my work week actually starts on Tuesday so I am spared what many feel in a handful of hours from now.


     Monday mornings, I do have to return to my drill sergeant duties in getting the troops ready for school, my chef’s duties in getting lunches ready and often off to the grocery to buy the required sustenance for the upcoming week, and I once again return my attention to the online banking and work related emails. Oh yes taxes...*urp*...taxes. (I think I threw up in my mouth a little).

     Anyhow – I often briefly scan my Facebook account to see what friends are up to, my duties on other accounts, posts and random how-do-you do’s. Most of the status updates however, post laments of Monday and the related dread of its arrival.

     In writing my book, one point I observed is that if people “hated” Mondays as much as they profess on my scrolling social network screen; and they lived an average life of approximately eighty years, they would be spending 11.4 years of their life in a state of dread and dismay. Profound huh? Add another day to the mix and, well, you do the math!

I think this stems a lot from the proverbial “Day Job” that haunts us.

     I find it interesting as I sat here most of this wonderful Sunday creating my book proposal and query letters for my book I have written. I spent hours upon hours (my kids were gone or entertained), feverishly trying to give my dream the leverage to get published and perhaps unfurling my sails to venture into new and uncharted blue waters. My dream is to one day be at my own book signing, my book an inspirational tome to where I hope the attendees are if not moved at least entertained. I want the cardigan sweater with the patches on the elbows. I want progressively bad eyesight that accompanies the career of a writer. Okay, maybe not.

     Why is it I spent much of my coveted weekend propped in front of a keyboard “working” when I now dread going back to work? Why do others feel the same? When did our dreams of doing what we do, just simply become an income generator, a hurdle to get through, and like an old lover, we now only consider a friend (if at all)?

     What is interesting to me is when I ask people, “If money was not a concern, would you be doing what you are doing now?” The answer most often is “no”. Secondly and peculiarly is that what we would do for fulfillment is quite often completely and randomly different from what we now do. Does this shift occur from boredom with the task? Does it occur from external disillusionment? Were expectations to high to begin with? Perhaps a force we could not see like the economy caused our emotional detachment. Maybe who is in charge of our progression is a hindrance. It is rough when your boss is a mean or lazy a-hole, and you are self-employed...

     I often hear, “Don’t quit your day job” directed to someone following their passion. Usually a discouraging outburst by someone who wants to see you tethered to that which weighs you down. Ah, the day job; the nemesis of excitement, yet that which provides the necessary sustainability to exist in the dreamless world, and slows our progression to be able to peer through our sextant and focus on the next guiding star.

     What helps me is in reaching for my goals and new territory is that I realize that my day job is truly what keeps my boat afloat in the meantime. Also I am more aware of when I am simply wasting time. Recharging is one thing, but when I could be utilizing my efforts to achieve whatever task, hobby, or dream I need to work on, I am more in tune to my application of my mental and physical efforts.

     Funny too is that I realize now that in my desire to not be at work, and have my leisure time, I would often waste much of it with boring tasks, watching TV, or daydreaming. The daydreaming spent wishing my life were different. Who was to blame? What can I do differently?

     Now as I sit and try to narrow my 11.4 years to a more palatable number, I also spend reasonable time with reasonable expectations on adding variety to my life. Quit my day job? Who knows? The next best-selling author? I still don’t know. Cardigan sweater with the patches? Wal-Mart here I come.

     What I do find is that when my job and life become boring or challenging, the effort I can dedicate to another goal or dream is enough to distract from my displeasure with the “same ‘ole, same ‘ole.” It is energizing and nourishing. It often alleviates the “day job” from the target of my whining, and redirects my focus to healthier tasks.

     From hairdresser to writer is quite an odd transition. As I said, many of us find where we are quite a bit different from where we wish we could be. As I look here to my right I have a small square hanging from my wall with the inspirational quote: “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” I am attempting mine---what would you do?

             
  This is also posted on Writers Rising  

Stand up? Nope, sit down.

     I used to be funny. My material was greeted with belly laughs and an unsurpassed adoration that kept me always seeking a new comical way to engage my audience. My shtick had range. I found that my material emulated those I found funny in my youth. I have been compared to Michael Winslow from the Police Academy movies as I can easily mimic sounds that make people wonder how they came from a human mouth. I could do the frenetic pace of classic Robin Williams. Perhaps the prop comedy stylings of Gallagher would be needed for laughter. Maybe I would channel some Steve Martin circa “Wild and Crazy Guy”. No matter the influence, I found that I was considered hilarious and was always in demand.


      My audience was an audience of one; my young daughter. Now as the tattered playbills have seemed to fade, I have evolved from “hilarious” to “weird”. It is funny how my comedic platform has similar interest to her now as My Little Pony, Barbie, and Dora the Explorer. A few short years and adolescence has skewed her perception of the classics. Pokes to the belly, body function noise imitations, and cartoon voices are met with a wrinkled nose, raised brow, and a look of disgusted surprise. I get more “thumbs down” than “thumbs ups” now.

     I have learned to realize after many times of tapping my emotional microphone wondering “if anyone is out there” that it may be time to get new material. My audience has changed yet I have not. I admit that I do not find the current humor format dictated by the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon within my scope of taste or understanding. I know, “old dog, new tricks”, but I find now that I have taken on the role of censor more than comedian.

     It is difficult as a parent when the awareness surfaces that we are now running interference more than entertaining. I have found that as my daughter’s abilities grow, the more I am able to find things that scare me and that I have to protect her from. The things she most desires to do or participate in. I know it is just nature’s way, but I long for the simplicity of an “arrow through the head gag”, and to also know that my words went unchallenged. There is currently more debate than I remember and I have not yet even embarked into the dating years. Maybe then the arrow through my head may become a real one.

     What I have found is that even though I may not appear “funny” as much as I like, and perhaps my days on the proverbial stand-up stage may have changed, I do not have to lose my sense of humor. I can bring this filter to the table when the challenges of raising a pre-teen daughter surface, and I may then be able to start laughing at myself a bit more. Heaven knows I will most likely be the star of many Saturday Night Live quality sketches. I am also sure I will be quoting a lot of Rodney Dangerfield claiming “No respect!”

      The blessing is that I have two kids and my son is six years old. My old material still works on him. Ah yes, the classics! The old whistles, raspberries, and Donald Duck impersonations rank up there with the “put-your-hand-under-your-arm-pit and pump your elbow to make rude noises gag.” That always was a winner. My encore performance awaits!

     I do find though that I am still tops on my daughter’s list for sage words and advice that only a Daddy can give. Loving hugs and kisses are always still in generous abundance. I realize too that even though my material may not garner as many belly laughs as it used to, my daily actions and love for my kids can produce many smiles. I also notice that my kids have a great sense of humor as well and are happier for it. I guess it is time to pass the clown nose to the next generation and start laughing at their routines as they improv their way through life.

           

Feeling mortal

FEELING MORTAL

     Tired--- so very tired I feel the wind chill as it courses through the holes in my rusted armor. Once resilient, the tarnished exterior succumbs to the wear of a seemingly never-ending onslaught.

     I find that once I embrace that youth is not eternal, mortality become more imminent. Each grain of sand that slips through the orifice of the hourglass represents another lost opportunity. Often disregarded as ceaseless gifts, these grains represent the time fleeting. The orifice widens. The sands, they fall as the transition mocks us with the truth of an eventual eternal slumber. We must play before bedtime.

     No longer feeling like the sting of a wasted day is not felt. The days, they slip like pages torn from a book, blowing--- lost to the wind, their words to be forgotten. I scramble to gather my words, my legacy, trying to hold onto the best chapters. Maybe someone will want to read someday. Will anyone care?

     How did this personal erosion occur unnoticed? The silent carcinogens of doubt, of apathy--- they ate their way through. It spreads the disease that eventually releases the tethered cords that secure me to the stronghold of my spiritual wharf. The wind it blows. The wind it is cold.

     So tired--- I realize that my body is no longer able to withstand the torrent. Bruised and blistered, I may have won the fight, but realize that upon healing, the scars restrict the agility once needed to maneuver the obstacles. I bend, it hurts. I twist, the body responds with pain.

     Will the realization that the path I now tread is far off course from the destination I once sought. The goal is no longer to arrive where I once aimed, but to simply find sustenance along the way, to not emotionally starve as I seek refuge from the expectations I once had. It doesn’t taunt, but it does haunt. Will I ever settle again into feeling I am almost home?

     I find it challenging to separate this score I keep with myself as to what I ventured to achieve, the successes that I once harvested; long since consumed, now left with the remnants of missed expectations. Although playing for both teams, I find myself rarely celebrating victory.

     The hypocrisy sneers as it sinks its meat hooks into me. It bears its enthusiasm as I am made aware that I detach so easily and divert from my nature. I derail. I slip into a lack of awareness that I am not able to counsel myself with the same love and compassion I would show others, including my enemies. Does this make me more contemptuous than my nemesis’? How can inflict the deepest cuts yet allow myself no sutures?

     So tired. Unable to fly I am held captive by guilt and responsibility. Living in the shadow, the sun no longer reflects off my now rusted armor. The once impervious metal now only adds weight. Responsibility stands in the way of dreams. Dreams being the air that sustains me and dispels the pain, yet with responsibilities choking off its nourishing supply. Blue I choke, gasping I whither and release my clutch to hope.

     Holding myself in contempt, I realize I have opened Pandora’s Box and have lost the lid. The sirens call to lure me further from the shore, beyond where the lights upon the shore illuminate the refuge for return. Time being the link to possibility; the rope grows shorter with every passing day. Soon I will be set adrift at the mercy of the current.

     Mortality it looms over the fallen. Only can I rise up and patch the holes that expose me to further barbs. Perhaps realizing I am mortal, I can hold time as a most precious resource. I am not immune to the disease of doubt--- contagious and draining. Should I choose to rise like the phoenix from the ashes, I must add faith to my arsenal. I mustn’t stand as an army of one, my current condition needs support. Standing over my defects like fallen comrades, I must check them like bodies on the battlefield to look for survivors. Once nursed they can stand beside me guarding the flanks.

     So tired, yet once rested may I rise to a new dawn. Hope it can peek through the cracks like a sliver of sun’s rays to warm whatever it touches and to light the way to the door. The fool continues the same path with his progress eternally impeded. Choosing right, choosing left is choosing the life restoring detour. Just go! Wait no longer for the rusted armor to weigh down the soul into simply sitting before the wall that impedes it, cursing its presence.

     Perhaps shedding the weight of what once protected is the ideal course. Vulnerable yes, but light, allowing the body and soul to heal and run freely in the direction of the sun. No more shall the burden of past baggage weigh me down. Rest and restore. Sleep to soothe the tiring ache, arise to the promise of new shores. Seek solace in the realization that one pivot in a new direction leads to the potential for a new journey with a new outcome. Eternity shifted in a simple pivot. The subtlest of turns affects destiny.

     Mortal I am. The opponent of mortality is life. Sleep will I now to awaken with new hope. Life is not measured in time spent. It is the collective story between our entrance and departure. Sometimes more of the story needs to be written for the rest to make sense.

A new avenue - Movie Reviews!

     What I have found that leverages my passion in writing is being able to share my perspective. I have enjoyed writing for many years as a contributor for hair and beauty magazines (Celebrity Hair Styles 101 Hairstyles etc.), for marketing purposes, blogging, as well as authoring a book. I think what I enjoy most is the challenge of my attempt to invite many to sit at the same proverbial table, enjoy fellowship while consuming the material at hand, and then only after consumtion, to be able to discuss what they did or did not enjoy. It is the portal to the presentation of the material I enjoy as much as the material itself; sometimes more so.

     A dear friend of mine, BRYAN ERDY whom I met many moons ago when I was affiliated with NBC, is a reputable movie critic with the credentials to support his chosen career path. He has a wit and engaging demeanor about him that I think makes him choice for interviewing celebrities, presenting reviews, and to be an on-air television presence.

     Recently he has become a "fan" of my writing, and has been a true friend in supporting my new found passion. In showing his support, he has allowed me to contribute to his site which supports his local and national movie review duties. His site, Movie Planet (Yes, you can click it!) is viewable to people with FaceBook accounts and I now invite you to come visit and if you enjoy the page, please become a fan. I have since written a few reviews in my "flavor", and the first one you can now read is on Avatar called "Why Avatar Matters".

 I would love your comments. Should people request the reviews, at some point, I may be able to seek other avenues to present them in other places. I also recently did a post called "I See You" looking into the "spiritual" connotations of the movie.

     The site will have reviews, chats, banter, and a host of other "movie-related" tidbits as well as discussions where you may add your input. If you pop by, I once again thank you deeply for supporting this new venture for me as a writer, as well as to support other great people in an exciting new direction. Thank you all as always!

Well when it rains it pours!

    I am humbled! I am so appreciative that people are finding my words inspiring, interesting, and at the very least worth reading. I was given the BEST BLOG AWARD by my friend Dr. T.L. Sanderfer from Marking the Path! Thank you kind sir! I am honored!

    As with these awards, and rightfully so is the protocol of not only receiving the "nod" from your fellow bloggers, but we must also find others to bestow it upon. I admit, I have my favorites and will try to spread the love around so I do not appear to "favoritey". Plus I think it is nice to offer it to someone new and/or unsuspecting.

Below are my choices of blogs to pass the baton onto" Please check out their work. Aside from the given of the writing, creating, developing, and crafting your site in and of itself is a task, not to mention the presentation, marketing of oneself, and idea developement. All to me are winners in some way! Thanks to all who pave the way!

These are not in any order!

Eco Yogini - An ecoholics guide to living yoga! "nuff said! Real good, feel good stuff!

The Evolving Spirit - Sometimes you gotta give a girl the nod twice!

Belly Up to this moment - A fellow writer from Writers Rising I have come to enjoy!

Chronicles of Sharnia - Fun wit, fun words - Give her a look see!

Waves upon the shore - Refreshing, like your first sip of tea or coffee

Journey to Joy - More refreshing reads - just simply nice!

Writers Rising - A great collaboration of writers who aim to uplift and inspire

The Colors Magazine - Another blogger doing their part to improve the blogging world!

The Authentic Blogger - I am a sucker for people who create community in the community

A Clever Whatever - I like that I never know what I am going to get

Now - when this was bestowed upon me, there was no "10 things" list, so I guess your homework is shortened tonight people!

As I always say, I know some people are not into "awards". Some may not respond, or are lucky, yet unlucky to have a couple awaiting the tasks and duties to get them done as well. Either way, whether you respond, fill out the obligations, or let it know, I think you deserve it none-the-less!

Keep on blogging!

I see you

     Yes I was one of the millions. I saw Avatar; twice, in glorious IMAX 3D! It was a stunning, and brilliant movie! Now I will spare mentioning much more on the movie itself here. Recently I have written a review for Movie Planet, and invite you to look there should the movie review be of interest to you. That is not where this bus is going today.

     This morning as I was sleepily trying to find something on TV to gently cradle my attention while I injected coffee into my system, my attention was briefly snagged by the beautiful blue creatures featured in Avatar. Why? I don’t know as it is now borderline overkill even with my applause for the film, and the definite fact that it will adorn my DVD shelf someday. What I think caught my focus was the ethereal and soothing sounds emanating from singer Leona Lewis as she sang, "I See You". It is a nice song, and I went to YouTube to find many available renditions of the video I saw this morning. By the end of this post, you may be so inspired to watch it. For those who have not seen the movie, this will have little relevance, so this is where the bus now leaves.

     In the movie, the planet Pandora is the setting for a group of sentient natives called the Na'Vi who are to say the least, very in-tune with their planet and one another. They have this indescribable connection with all things. Part of the movie is based upon this special connection as the beauty of their people is their deep and profound recognition of how one and all are spiritually and ecologically connected. It is a brilliant symbiotic relationship I envy.

     In recognizing and acknowledging this in one another, they use a salutation, an affirmation mind you--- "I See You!" Embrace this!

     This salutation emulates the premise of many of our earthly cultures and the wisdom many of us humans aspire to connect to. It parallels the meaning of Namaste': “The light (God, Source, Spirit, etc.) in me, recognizes the light (God, Source, Spirit, etc.) in you. “ (There is some flexibility to that definition.) Also as in the Mayan greeting of In Lak'ech ala K'in, meaning: “I am you, you are me.” We again see another parallel from yet another culture.

     What I believe the sages of Earth, the wisdom of the universe, and the Na’Vi are trying to express and admire is the intrinsic interconnectivity in all of us. What separates us--- poisons us, and eventually causes our demise. This mantra addresses the need for insight; an insight that assists us in foiling some of the six components of our personal degradation from the EGO.

I am what I have.

I am what I do.

I am what other people think of me.

I am separate from what I want.

I am separate from others.

I am separate from God.

     I think once we see the brilliance and beauty of how truly connected we are, a shift will occur. It has in me. Deep down our makeup, nature, and biological needs are the same. It is when we see others differently, or differently from us is when the venom starts to take effect. Often we are unaware of the toxicity coursing through us. We pass it on to our kids and our environment in a contagious effort to ostracize that which we fear or do not understand. We separate.

     I find that true seeing is least done with the eyes. It is the seeing I do in my core being that allows me to connect inward as well as outward. We can see with all of our senses. One of the many definitions of the word “sense” is “an appreciation or understanding.”

     What I find helps me when I feel confronted, misunderstood, different, disconnected, is I try to see things from a collective view. I am part of a greater whole. The circumstances that affect me were perhaps not aimed at me, but maybe my path put me temporarily in the way. If I see that I am a “cell in a collective body”,” a note in a song”, I will see my part with more depth and importance. We must connect for life to be strong. We must harmonize to create the symphony.

     I still work on my “blindness” to some things, but now I look for the light switch. I work on seeking the sometimes less-than-visible connections in one another rather than address how “different” others may appear and how wide that gap is. If it takes scantily clad blue humanoids to help you get the message, please do so. You won’t be disappointed in the visual presentation. We are so very connected and I see that.

     It is nice to see you all! Namaste’! In Lak’ech ala K’in! Thanks for hopping on the bus!

NOTE!
This post is also available on Writers Rising -  a conscious collaboration of bloggers with a conscience!

Thanks again for the kudos!

     For those readers who are not bloggers or writers, I will explain all this. I have recently encountered the fun practice of being tagged or awarded, and it  is not only nice to receive, but more so to give. These are little gestures of appreciation we extend to one another for blogs that catch our attention and our hearts. I believe that often the sentiment, as well as the protocol of "telling something about yourself" is similar, but this way we can once again give another "atta-boy" or "atta-girl" to a blogging pal. They are sometimes that "message in a bottle" that someone is reading, cares, and maybe was saved but something we wrote. They may seem trivial to some, but I always respond, pass them along to others as I just find it correct and in good karmic practice. They also may someday may adorn the side bar of my blog like a sports bar, yet each one means something to me.Thank you for giving me the nod, and to the rest of you --- Atta-boy and atta girl!

Onward...

     Wow! I never thought it would be this hard to think of ten things about myself that few or no people know about me. I will try to dig something up that will not waste a few minutes of your life you will never get back. I wish I had something to share worthy of Post Secret. However once I shared them with the world, I fear the secret would haunt me, so I have to come up with friendly little secrets or LKF’s (Little Known Facts). I will do my best.

This was bestowed upon me by my friend from http://livemorenow.wordpress.com/ Live Life Now!

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me:
1. I write to confront my own hypocrisy. The things I would tell a friend or a stranger out of compassion, I need to continually remind myself of. When I write, I place the words before me, and hopefully ingest it again to make it stick.

2. I wish I was a full time professional writer so I could share more, more often.

3. That being said is I admit I have fallen out of love with my career. (Hairstylist) My love is just now an old friend. I love helping people though - love it! The sad thing is I own my own business, and at one point was rather known and successful. What I realize though, was that I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I wish I could switch what is now my hobby for my career and vice versa.

4. If I could have a super power it would be the ability to heal.

5. I wish I were very rich…so I could be a philanthropist and give most of it away.

6. I like candles, lots of candles. Call me weird.

7. I could live on Family Guy, History Channel, and Food Network as my only TV stations.

8. I also wish I were a chef, but it would have to be in my own bistro. I would love to adjust the menu daily and invite people to cook with me. I will cook for anyone who wants to eat. If I were a philanthropist I would feed the hungry too.

9. I love video games. I love it that I can play with my son now. He is six and can kick my butt sometimes. My family thinks I am being neglectful as a father when we play things over his years, but he is good, real good! Maybe it is because I never had those bonding moments with my father as to why I overlook that.

10. I am clean and sober. I am extremely thankful for the past. It led me to where I am. I love to share the message of hope I have learned over time. Maybe my super power would be to heal addicts and alcoholics. Sad thing is though; it is the bottom you must hit to bounce back to where you need to be.



Now the next part is to pick seven blogs to pass on the award/tag/nod to. I have many favorites. I read many as well. I was fortunate to receive one not too long ago and do not want to be “that guy” who will give you homework. Since it requires 10 things about you, and then to pass it on, I sought out a few others I have been looking at; sharing the love so-to-speak. Please give them a look! They all have something fun or warm going on. As always, if you do not “do” awards, or fill out the requirements ---that is okay. Still nice to get the wink and a nod!

http://www.theauthenticblogger.blogspot.com/ - celebrating the blogger in a community forum

http://healingmorning.blogspot.com/  - another friend who likes to look at stuff-n-things in a unique way. (I know you and Marty just got another nod, so no offense if you let this ride! I still wanted to extend it to you!)

http://quixoticlfe.blogspot.com/ - a new friend who appears to be a “sister from another mister”. I like her style!

http://mccaffery33.blogspot.com/ - Spiritual, visual, just a nice read!

http://annellealtman.blogspot.com/- Making not only the blogosphere, but bloggers a healthy bit better

http://latonyarichardson.blogspot.com/- As a forty-something myself– I like her musings on life!

http://aloneinholyland.blogspot.com/ - Sometimes people are on the same planet, different worlds. Sometimes we’re in different parts of the world, experiencing the same planet. Cool blog!

Love and type to all!