Thursday, December 3, 2009

Let Ye without "transgressions" cast the first stone...

Let Ye without “transgressions” cast the first stone…

     As I have noticed this subject before, in the past couple days I have had it crammed down my throat. (‘Thank you’, Mr. Woods!) The fact that if we “wrong others”, we request silent accountability; however, if others “wrong (or disappoint)” us, we demand public retribution. Sadly, we are often not even “personally” wronged. We weren’t there, we have lost nothing, have little or nothing invested, yet as a society, we bark and become belligerent at the very instance we hear of a celebrity have a “transgression”. Just because we look at you Mr. or Mrs. Celebrity doing what you excel at, does it mean we have ownership in your personal affairs and to what extent?

Transgression – Definition:

1. To go beyond or over (a limit or boundary); exceed or overstep

2. To act in violation of


1. To commit an offense by violating a law or command; sin

2. To spread over land, especially over the land along a shoreline. Used of the sea. (n/a in this case)

     It is funny that if a circumstance happens within our life, a personal fumble mind you, we beg for a merciful retreat of the onlookers to allow us to put a little “emotional Neosporin” on it to allow it to heal. Things like infidelity, financial depletion, rehab or addiction, accidental death, causing harm to property of others, loss of status, things that make us question our faith, or actually call us closer to it. These are things that are part of the human element.

     I will be the first to say, “Tiger; what the hell were ya thinkin’ man?” That being if he were within earshot. That also if I were asked. He had it all apparently; the great career, ‘model’ wife, beautiful children, homes, cars, and a heckuva lot of money. It has been proven time and time again that those things listed above are not what it takes to create fulfillment, if so, those who have it, would not “transgress”, and those who are in lack thereof, would be in constant “transgressing” peril.

     Yes, he is visible, yes, he is successful. The celebrity he is, “we” created, as his visibility is something we ordered up, got served, enjoyed and asked for seconds. Role model? Perhaps implied, but as I saw one of the many arguments posted today (ad nauseum) thrashing him for him being a “role model” and ‘what message was he sending’, I don’t recall him being hired or observed for being a role model per se. That is a title we perhaps pinned upon him. We watched and enjoyed him because he can swing metal sticks at a small ball with exquisite accuracy. That is what the endorsements are for, that is why he is fun to watch. I mean, when I have watched him play at a tournament and he approaches the tee box, I never hear the crowd yell, “great job being a perfect husband Tiger!” “I learned all I know about parenting from watching you Tiger!” Put the ball in the cup, dude!

    I guess my weariness comes not from what the guy did or didn’t do. If he broke a law; he should answer for it. If he “transgressed” against his wife, he should answer to her for it. If his actions reflect negatively upon the values of one of the companies he endorses, they can negotiate whether or not he should continue being on their payroll. If there is a pattern of calling women other than his wife, it’s not healthy for a marriage and time to reconsider his interpretation and participation in a monogamous relationship. Basically, be accountable. But be accountable to those who have a vested interest in the situation.

     Being a public figure and being ‘paid by the public’ as a sports figure entitles one to have some degree of accountability. If you do something wrong, admit it, take the heat, apologize, seek the necessary help or counseling, remedy it in your future actions, and proceed to the best of your ability, and if it is time to sever some ties as a consequence so be it. Do the crime, do the time. Enough. Next!

    What I find nauseating is the perpetuation of not just Tiger Woods’ story, but anyone in the media, to where are they not only discussing the situation, but playing text messages and recorded phone calls, giving public forum to the alleged female “transgressors” whom he partnered with in his “transgressions”. Press conferences, tweets, social media posts, tabloids, paparazzi, web fodder, yadda, yadda, yadda, all saying the same thing in new colorful ways to keep the public captivated.

     He is still a human (I didn’t say a good or bad one), but human none the less, and we act appalled or confused when a human, like us, falls from grace. It is so funny how the public thinks celebrity equals divine status and cleanliness of conscious and actions. I do not know of many who would love to have a hidden camera and microphone attached to them 24/7 without their knowing, and would be 100% thrilled if played back on CNN tonite.

     The other dose of "media Ipecac" is the fact that it exists solely because we drink it in by the gallon. Nothing exists if it is not consumed in great public quantity. I personally today experienced some talking about Mr. Woods’ “transgressions” in this self righteous manner of what he should do and deserved, and I was thinking, “but wait, didn’t you cheat on your wife, and dude, didn’t you also have a drug habit and used to steal to get the money for that habit?” “I’m jus’ sayin’ man?!” Yet people like this were playing judge, jury and executioner frenzied like sharks over a fish head.

     I guess my point is not so much the morality of the issue, or whether or not the guy deserves what he gets, even if he is responsible or not because he is a celebrity. What gets me is the hypocrisy that if the shoe were on the other foot, and we “transgressed”, celebrity or not, are we willing to endure and be held accountable to the same standards? If we “transgressed”, and someone found out, is it okay that the public and media knows, puts on a circus and then decides our fate as well? Would it be okay if it happened to us celebrity or not? Would you be okay with the same scrutinous package? Is it okay to not only have your “transgression” aired out for all to see, but to allow the further display of the lurid details?

     I know if it were me “transgressing” against my wife, she would not only take a seven iron after me, but a few chips shots in, and a 2 putt, and my car would be in a sand trap somewhere. I get that part of the whole deal. If I woke the neighbors, and caused a scene, an apology is in order. Broke the law? Do time. How much of the details are permissible public knowledge though? I don’t know. I just know that as long as the public sits there with mouths agape like baby birds waiting to be fed, someone will happily regurgitate another serving of tabloid stew. My point is just don’t act so appalled next time; “transgressions” are sadly not as rare and shocking an occurrence. Perhaps they have happened in your family or neighborhood as well. Be thankful you are not a celebrity and to those who still desire to be, just be careful what you wish for.


Charlene said...

I think it's just a sign of people's lack of confidence in their own lives that they feed off the misery of others and bask in the glory of judgment.

This is why God created hobbies. I'm just sayin'... :-)

Dara Taylor Dietz said...

Well said Tony...I couldn't agree more!

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