Thursday, December 31, 2009

Can I have some?

        I have often wondered what criteria need to be met. There has to be something that dictates the worthiness of it. Elusive and taunting it often comes within reach but can be likened to grasping water. I find it best to have a vessel---and I do.

        It does not appear after gaining material possessions. I find the things I desire fluctuate too frequently to be a benchmark. I find I receive objects and can still feel an absence.

        It will not show up with adoration. Opinions of others are too fickle, and too varied. They fade and can disappear. I do not want it to accompany the exit of favor from others.

        My self image; this morphing analysis of what I should be…my self-imposed grade card. It has had as many A’s as F’s. I have tried to associate a passing or failing grade with it’s presence. Perhaps it is the greatest teacher as opposed to the grade itself.

        What I do --- is it who I am? I think not. Is my worth and worthiness based upon what I do for an income? Is my occupation significant in my evolution, and contentment as a human being? It is funny how much of its elusive quality hinges on this. If I quit my job --- or lose it, what about me changes?

        The shape of body has nothing to do with the shape of my soul, and the depth of my ability to love, but why do I let go of celebrating the awareness of this? What is it about the measurements of our clothing size that seems to measure many other things? Also, our strength comes from not how much weight we can press but opposition we can endure and thrive in spite of. Still we cry out for it!

        What we seek we have in escrow. It awaits us to be opened by a key called awareness. A simple shift in acceptance, perception, and compassion can adjust life’s lens to allow us to see it’s presence more readily. Happiness.

        It is the circumstances that seem to diminish it and send it away for a while that also give us the opportunity to really place worth and value on those objects and people we attach it to. The magic though, lies in the fact that our perception can greatly embellish its luster when present and decrease the duration of the apparent absence.

        We are fortunate to hold our own happiness “dimmer switch”. Often the labels we place upon situations elevate the severity of our perception of the pain we are, or should be enduring. Words we create can put space between what we have available to us and where we are.

        True, there are the unbearable and unfortunate parts to our life script. We must wait for the situation to become right again. Patience is not in the waiting, but how we act while we wait.

        As we endure the challenges life offers us, we can rest assured that our entire existence and idea of self worth does not have to be an all-inclusive deal to where if one area is disrupted, we are void of happiness entirely.

        Happiness is a life-giving, world changing resource we can experience and share, simply by choosing to become aware of our ability to create it.


Anonymous said...

"Patience is not in the waiting, but how we act while we wait"
Words of wisdom indeed. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes into the New Year.



I think your writing is dreamlike. It asks many questions, it hits on many truths, you are aware of many things. Almost poetic, almost stream of consciousness. You ask; "What I do - is it who I am?" and my answer is - absolutely not, unless of course, if what you do is something you absolutely love. But if you are doing it purely for income, then that is an entirely different story - the story of the matrix of which so many many of us wish to break free.

Erica said...

Hello there - followed your link from the Facebook thread - your writing is everything that's in my head, made manifest through blog form. You manage to write what I can only fleetingly grab from the universe. I look forward to reading more of it!

Take care,

Tony Anders said...

Thank you all - and it is your kind support that keeps me writing! Hello to my new freinds!


Hi Tony. Thanks for your support. Would you be interested in featuring one of your pages? You have a poetic flow to your writing. It would be good to share it. Let me know. And wishing you a HNY :)

TirzahLaughs said...

Life is strange don't you think? I know with work and stubborness I can get almost anything I want.

But to know what you really want, deep down, is the hard part. Life changes, needs change. And I think most of us are afraid to whisper our dreams out loud for fear will jinx ourselves.

But if you don't admit you want it, you can't visualize getting it. After you visualize, you plan, and the rest is just plan awful work.



Tony Anders said...

@UA - Thanks for the offer and I would be honored - just lemme know the protocol...and @Tirz welcome and thanks for the kind words!

Anonymous said...

This is amazing. Thanks! I am now following you, and look forward to reading many many more posts :)


Morning Tony :) Morning - new featured post that needs your support :) Have a good day :) x