Friday, September 11, 2009

I remember...

I remember stating eight years ago today, "our lives as we have known them are going to change forever!" Standing in the small crowd accumulating in our breakroom at work, we struggled to see the small TV we found to watch the day's tragic events unfolding. I remember recoiling for a moment in the realization that my statement was true and was going to effect not only me in my selfish fear of losing my beloved "comfort zones", but to the fact that this boulder in the pond, created a global ripple to where not only me, but my state, country, hemisphere, world, and future generations would feel somehow the sting of this momentary happening, that could last for generations if not eternally.

I remember, once I really tuned in, once I reached into the intuitive space in myself, I could feel the energy vacuum that was changing humanity. It was like someone adjusted the thermostat in the room, and all were unaware at first why, but they were all of a sudden uncomfortable; we were cold. The indelible images of people falling to their death, the realization that we were repeadtedly being exposed to a massive execution not only of innocent human beings, but to an era, and that of a collective spirit. We were watching our world change to what we most feared, right before our eyes in living color.

In retrospect I now also see, not only in a fear of an unobserved predator preying upon us, but that it was that "suckerpunch" to our smug attitude of invulnerability and our slow to respond indifference to the fact that there is a force that "does not agree", was willing to do what it takes to rob those of their sense of security and that all will remain "rosey" as long as we keep our chin up and chest out. It was this event that got our attention.

I see over time, after fear has subsided, that at least an awareness level has been challenged to awaken in us; this level requiring us to become awake and respectful of that which occurs around us. Not from a paranoia standpoint, yet these events pose obvious opposition to that statement, but to the fact that it is difficult to impose global views and doctrines upon the masses and expect total participation. There needs to be a mindset of understanding, and acceptance, not endorsement or participation, but simply to understand that which occurs and impacts our world. Most importanly, our conciousness in that, and our desire to open up, as opposed to close up, is what will allow us to move forward in a world that perhaps will respect, as opposed to place violent judgment upon that which frightens them or that which challenges their doctrines or dogma. A lofty ambition I know, but I see a shift occuring.

Aside from any stance on war, isolation, pre-emptive miliatry involvement, sanctions, and the like, diplomacy can start on a level of individual participation. We can try to seek a desire to build not only our buildings and defense, but relationships closest to us, in that of one of understanding. Again, it does not have to be an endorsement of any practice or activity, but I have found understanding dispels irrational fear, whcih may be a step toward finding our peace in the insanity of the events giving a unique meaning to today's date. We do not have to sit down nor cower over that which we know in our conciousness is humanly wrong either. I see now since the years have slowly passed, and the bleeding wounds have evolved into scar tissue, our resolve has changed from the intial fear to that of trying to insure that we will never experience an event like this, especially on our soil again. The horrific event of that day caused brother and sister, stranger and friend to unite toward one goal of restoration and resurrection of a state of common peace and security.

What I have seen also is the appreciation of that which was once common. Our armed forces, our local law enforcement and public service men and women for example. We find gratitude when our parents and children arrive at our door safe. We can find a small degree of solace of understanding better those who choose not to yet understand us. We have an awareness of how other feel about our actions and to some event we have found the world holds us accountable on their terms as well. We can now appreciate what we have that made this country great to begin with, yet over years eroded into something taken for granted. At times we have to lose something to feel the value of that we once had. Sometimes the message is unfortunatley in direct proportion to the intensity of how bad we need to receive it. Sadly our message came at the senseless loss of innocent human lives. Yet we rally. We emerge. We rebuild.

I have seen today many, many shows in positve remeberence of those who have fallen and gave the ultimate gift of themselves in service of others. I have also seen a proliferation of available TV shows rehashing the graphic events allowing us to vividly expereince the nightmare once again. Even in a historical context, today should, in my opinion allow us to look upward and extend a thanks to those who fell and not indulge in the media blitz reminding us of how sad, mad, or fearful we should be. While looking upward, say a prayer that we never have to experience an event like that ever again. We can also give a nod of thanks for the awareness we have been blessed with and our evolution, no matter how uncomfortable, that allows us now to appreciate the world in a new frame with a new resolve. We can now place a level of gratitude upon the simple things like our family arriving home safe to us as there are many who are still out there fighting to insure that we someday all may be able to have that level of security.

My heart extends to those who have the void of a lost loved one. My soul aches for those in foreign lands whose days exist only to devise ways to destroy those they hate under some religious doctrine. I lament for those who are dodging bullets, and for those who have to make the decision to send them into battle. I feel for those whose children are carrying out the military tasks, as my kids are home and safe with only the threat of being out of their favorite cereal facing them. I thank those families and soldiers. I am blessed to live in America. Finally - if you are going to spend the day in reflection, do it with a moment of gratitude and love for those that have been taken from us not only on 9/11, but the days afterward, and those who suffer daily from the loss of a loved one, or those protecting us from having to endure it again. We all stand and suffer as one, and we all shall recover together as one. It is that which hurts the most that often becomes our strongest glue.

1 comment:

pebbleinthepond1111 said...

Very well said. Thank you so much. The two parallel, ethereal blue beacons that beam upward now from ground zero touch me deeply. They are a testament that we, as Americans, can find the light in our darkest hours. Those beams serve to remind me of the maturing I have done since being forced to empathize with people whose paradigm existed outside of my posh bubble of security. I found myself on the outside of that bubble as well. I gained compassion...Not Contempt. I gained Gratitude where once there had been discontentment. The assaults of that other-worldly day were designed to destroy us. They fell short. We were strengthened. As other-worldly as it was for this Nation, terror is a daily reality in many other countries. I Love America...Boogers, Warts and ALL. You are so right, TRG...It has caused so many of us to re-evaluate the little things. It is, indeed, these oft overlooked treasures that truly have the most profound influence. As morbid as it might seem, it helps when my 8 year old is singing a Taylor Swift Song for the 7th consecutive time, 5 feet from my ears, to ask myself how devastating it would be to suddenly not have the opportunity to endure this concert ever again. Suddenly I want to be nowhere but there and with no one but her. Some might find thoughts like that to be "negative". Well, whatever works, I guess. If I need to jar myself back to the moment'du'jur by reminding myself how precious each moment is, I will. I don't want to wait to learn that lesson too late. I may have reconstructed my bubble, to some degree, but I sit within it's pseudo-shelter with a few ugly insights gained from that day, but I am able to embrace some insights of Divinity as a result of that day as well. So, though my mind-set is not exactly the "Lest We Forget" school-of-thought, I intend to keep reflecting on the life-pivoting wisdom we accidentally gained from 9/11/01 while forgoing the re-lancing of the scar in order to keep vengeance generating. I feel no vengeance. Only compassion. As horrid as it must have been to go down in the brimstone and smoke of that day, or to have been watching the television as it confirmed that loved-ones were dead, I feel a far worse fate would have been to have my soul hijacked by the culture I was born into and have my mind destroyed with hatred to the point where I would find myself capable of killing and dieing in the name of a Vengeful god. That is controversial every time I say it, but it is the way I feel. So, yes, I will always remember...But I opt not to re-hash. Thanks for not doing that, Sir. It is dangerous to the human spirit. When I remember what it felt like to suddenly know that we were seeing something with our own eyes that was going render us changed forever, I, too, choose to focus on the Heroism instead of the terrorism. Namaste.