Monday, September 28, 2009

"Not me..."

I have posted this ponderance of mine before, but I will here again. Ever notice when we wrong others, we desire 'silent accountability'? However, when others wrong us, we require 'public retribution'?

Now this mind you is quite interesting, but I think the deeper part is that I find, many people do not think the rules of life/society/spirituality apply to them. I notice this so often, sad to say, in the simplest of environments. For some reason, as I have been able to take my son to kindergarten, I too have gone "back to school". Many of my insights have come in the mornings as I observe and reflect in these simple moments that start my day.

For simple example, I see how especially in, but not limited to, our children observe what is going on around them to justify their actions as being 'acceptable'. Kind of 'monkey see, monkey do'. They will also look up to get the nod of approval from their parents, and those they look up to to justify and reconcile their actions. I notice in my own kids how they are somewhat aware of what is expected of them, but as kids do, they will push the boundaries, perhaps out of 'expressing themselves' or just simple mischief, but it is we the parents who are responsible for keeping our kids "between the ditches" and on the straight and narrow.

Aside from the social laws we have to abide by, there are also ones of courtesy, comfort, and those that regulate the flow of the days procedures that are imposed by my children's school. From the 'stop, drop, and go' point where you let kids out of the car, to a 'no dogs' policy to keep our school grounds free from animal excrement for health reasons, and a variety of others, I have observed an epidemic that our kids are being exposed to on a regular basis. The epidemic that "the rules apply to you, and not to me".

For example in reference to the above points. I see daily, people bringing their dogs on school grounds blatantly after the school has sent out a message that it is unacceptable. With a smug attitude of "not me" and poo bag in tow, I see it regularly and have to explain to my 5 year old why he cannot walk his dog to school. That some parents maybe have to go back to school to learn to read the memo.

I see daily people parking in handicapped spaces right up front of the school, thinking that "I will only be here for a moment", when perhaps the rest of the city would feel the same as we ALL only need a moment to drop off our kids. It is simply the law, and God forbid, if it was their child who was in a wheel chair needing to utilize the space. Not only public retribution, but public execution would be summoned.

I see parents jaywalking past the crossing guards. This not only disrupts the fact that the child has had to wait five years to be able to obtain the right and authority to sport the safety attire and the right to represent their school as a safety attendant, but it also states that it is okay for "my kid" to bypass the rules, to put themselves in harms way, and that the traffic laws do not apply. Now, what would those people do if someone walked right past their child with the same flagrant attitude of disinterest for their position without even the care to cast their eyes upon them with any acknowledgment of their duties? Would they "let it go" if someone accidentally hit heir child with a car someday when they did it in absence of their parents?

I see not only traffic and social violation, but I find the difficulty in trying to explain to an impressionable young mind why it is "okay" for some to break the rules and not others. Why my children are held accountable and not others. I see the confusion in his eyes and I find it disturbing. I find it disturbing that some will allow themselves to act in such a way with complete abandon, but if done to them or in their presence, they will find it apalling, disturbing, or at least of concern worthy of gossip and finger pointing.

I have heard it before that all we ever need to know, we learned in Kindergarten; "follow the rules, keep your hands to yourself, play nice" to name a few. I think after seeing many 'repeat offenders' dropping off their kids daily at school to get "an education" should remember that we as parents are our kids greatest teachers, and they mimic those they respect. The school has their job as we do on the homefront. Our kids observe our actions and how we follow the rules to find out how they too should follow the rules and to how they will be help accountable. Let's not confuse them any more than the world tries to. If this concept is too hard for some to grasp; perhaps some people should take another round of Kindergarten.

1 comment:

pebbleinthepond1111 said...

This kind of "rule-exemption mind-set" is almost expected from a child or an adolescent. The concerning thing to me, though, is how many childish and adolescent things I do every day that I would repremand my kids for. Smoking. Calling the lady that just cut me off a "Bad Name". Leaving my towels on the bathroom floor. Eating in the living room while they are banished to the kitchen and barred from the living room. Going outside to get the mail in my socks. I have been noticing things like this lately and it makes me uncomfortable. Rules are made in order for people to live in harmony and co-operate fairly. How confusing (and respect-robbing) must it be when I am losing my temper on my son for losing his temper on his sister? I don't take my dogs on school property,but there is a whole lot of "Do as I say and Not as I Do" B.S. going on. Of course, I learned that phrase from my mother who no doubt picked it up from her own. In my endeavours to "do things differently", I over looked that one. I see it now, though. I intend to make good on a promise I made to myself as a child. "I will NEVER say that to my kid!!", was the common, silent declaration. I may not have actually spoken the words to my children, but my actions are certainly "Do as I say and not what I do" actions. So, I may have internalized this blog in a way other than what the author intended, but I sure got what I came for. No more J-walking...wheather my kids are with me or not. I don't want to be a fat-cat dictator that has convinced myself I am training my children to be respectful and considerate people when sometimes I show them neither respect or consideration. Thanks for highlighting what was already on my heart this morning, my friend.