Sunday, May 9, 2010
I have a dear friend, who is also a client who comes to see me in my salon every now and again. She is not as frequent as many for a variety of reasons. However when she calls, I accommodate. This I do not at all from a “take care of a client” perspective; although that is true to some degree. I do this as I know when she calls, she needs me, some friendship, and often hair is a by-product of our meeting.
My friend/client is an old soul. She is the type of person upon first handshake, you are now old friends. We have been close friends since the day we met. I get her, she gets me.
We were speaking this day of challenges she felt in not being able to do some things that she used to do; not only socially, but other obligations she did for others that also brought her joy. She mentioned the guilt she felt as if she were letting others down. Sometimes people did not understand her perspective, and her guilt worsened. Why was she able to do these things before, and now they were more cumbersome? “Why” still lingers even though she knows it is what it is.
In speaking with her I realized that our ability has nothing to do with our intention. There are many things I desire to do. I would love to be rich so I could give most of it away. I wish I were a famous chef, so I could inspire people to feed others (Thanks Jamie Oliver). I would offer rides, clothing, shelter, and most of all healing were it in my abilities. I want to be a successful author. Sadly, on the scale I wish it were, it is not. However, this does not have to hinder my intention behind it. My intention is my leverage forward. I hope even if my resources are diminished, I hope the intentions I have ever increase.
That led me to reflect on doing my “best.” No one bats a thousand. However we can do our best every time at bat. What I see is that from time to time, our best may fluctuate. Our best efforts are a culmination of a variety of factors. In trying to pursue even a familiar endeavor, we may have circumstances that do not align as well as the last time we attempted something. Things like, health, logistics, timing, rest, environment, people involved, finances, emotion, weather, a total cornucopia of ingredients come together to determine an outcome. Our outcomes are all affected by these. We are often judged by our last “at bat” though.
So it leads us to believe, that even though we do our “best”, at the time we apply it, many things determine what transpires. If we do our best with what we have, it is all we have. We seek leverage from our good intentions, inspiration from above, and apply our best abilities using the components the universe deals us. We should not burden ourselves with the guilt by comparing what our results are now, with what they once were.
She and I reflected on this and were a bit relieved knowing that because our situations have evolved, who we are inside has not. What we would do if we were in control of our cosmic resources would surely produce different results and perhaps sway the way others feel about what we are able to achieve.
My friend is fighting a battle for her life. She has more on her plate than many will ever juggle in a lifetime, yet she feels she is letting others down. Confined to a wheelchair, she puts in more “miles” to help others and bring hope to her fellow man than her able-bodied brethren. To me that is testimony to the depth of one’s soul and character that cannot be judged by tangible benchmarks. Her intention is genuine. Her “best” is always given. Many should follow her lead and be so lucky. Her wheels are simply metal wings.