Sunday, February 21, 2010

FML - "Say WHAT!?"

        “FML”. I had to Google it. Maybe I am old, but I truly hope it is because I have had no need for the acronym. To those who must join me in the uninitiated corner of the room, “FML” is the antithesis of “LOL”. To the further uninitiated in all things emoticons and web vernacular here is the breakdown: “LOL – Laugh Out Loud” and “FML – F*** My Life”. Umm...Wow!

        Recently I have seen the use of this little tidbit at the end of posts from “friends” on social media. As I said – I had to Google it to find out it’s meaning so if it were to come up in everyday conversation, I would not seem as old as my kids think I am. I mean, there are parts of me that want to be “in-the-know” if not “hip”. Honestly I was saddened upon finding its meaning. I was saddened that people needed a new way to exclaim and project negative energy upon their perceived personal circumstances.

        Nowadays social media posts have proven to be more fun than aggravation for me. Currently, more people post on Facebook than vote; talk to people they would not pick up the phone to speak to, and keep in touch with loved ones from afar; as well as share whether or not they enjoyed their Vanilla latte. Can’t be much harm in that, right? (Debatable, I know.) What disturbed me though is that upon my search, I found a social media site dedicated to the FML brigade. It allowed for people to post a “status” per se, of a negative personal situation, why you stand behind your assumed “FML” label, and then allowed people to agree with you as well as to select “You deserved it!” Another “Wow”! I will not post a link and become a conduit for traffic to this place. Google it.

        Now I have, as many do, moments where things just do not go my way. In the past I have felt that God and/or the universe has a sense of humor and I was the punch line. I also realize the more I feel “cosmic victim”, the more I can find circumstances to substantiate this feeling based upon my chosen perspective. The key word here is “chosen”. What we focus on is what we see!

        I also realize that in the FML mindset, if I feel that I find contempt with my life, and that forces beyond myself are damning me to live a less-than-desired existence, why would I feel it helpful to personally add to the damning? I have been there and I get the pain. However I now realize upon reflection, whenever the metaphoric FML subway would open its doors to let me off, by clinging to this viewpoint, I would simply stand on the crowded coach, allowing the door to shut once again, and continue the ride. I was both conductor and passenger.

        Personal and emotional pains are valid. There are times when we encounter barriers. I have straddled so many hurdles I have split my pants. What I have come to realize is that “pain” is the incident that injures us, however “suffering” often is where we keep reminding ourselves we should still be hurting. The exclamations mentioned above that support the mindset of “because of this incident, my life sucks” or “because of that incident, FML” is counterproductive to getting beyond it. I will not judge my life by any one incident than I would judge a song by a singular note.

        You will not see the acronym adorn my site, nor infiltrate my vocabulary regardless of how my day is going. What is simply is, yet I can manage how I look at things. By labeling not only an event, but that my entire existence is in jeopardy from it, lends me to remain deeper and longer in that which I find overwhelming. Winston Churchill once said, “If you find yourself going through hell, keep going!” Although I may add another keystroke, I offer this alternative: “TTSP – This Too Shall Pass”!


Bernadine said...

I too was not "cool" or "hip" enough to know what FML meant and also had to google it once I began seeing it everywhere.

The truly sad thing is that this type of negativity has become the "hip" way to be. I was on a social network and saw a very disturbing status update from a young family member, and I immediately called, spoke with his parent, etc etc. When asked about the very disturbing update, he said, "No, I'm okay. I just put that because it's cool, and I wanted the girls to see."

WOW, was my response too. In an time where I meet so many people on the path to enlightenment, it is worrisome to see this trend.

You can count me in with the much better alternative of TTSP and I certainly hope to see it much more!

Ardith Haws said...

Yet again, you seem to speak my language, Tony. I love your positive attitude. I love your ability to deal with challenges without seeing the need to bring others down as well. I, too, have wondered why others feel a need to share their headaches on Facebook. Let's lift one another up. Bring smiles. It is just a better way to live.

I am glad to say I didn't know what FML meant, nor have I seen much of its use. Have a great day, and thanks for the uplift.

marcime said...

"so many hurdles I've split my pants" - thats very good Anthony Anders! you are funny.

FML - very prevalent and viral attitude - you have touched on how very contagious negativity can get and how oddly trendy it can be (this I have not figured out - i guess its cool to be dramatically f****d up?

excellent post Tony - another one I will have to tell my husband about :)

pebbleinthepond1111 said...

I knew exactly what those words meant. No google was needed. I spent enough years using the exclamation in it's entirety that the letters 'FML' were instantly understood the first time I saw them. I feel an actual ache every time I see them. I remember. It has been years since those words have strung together in my head, let alone on my facebook wall, and for that I am humbly grateful. I somehow got rescued from that detrimental mindset by others that were living life in a manner of constant growth as opposed to constant decay. I am now considered sappy and positive and optimistic...often with contempt from the FML'ers. :0) I say I was 'rescued' because that is how it feels. I, however, had to make the conscious effort to change my thinking...or at least be more selective with the thoughts I allow to hijack my head. My head can also be hijacked by positive, healing thoughts these days, and I realize I have the power to BLESS my life. So, thanks again for letting us see your thoughts. Once again you have expressed something that many are feeling. BML!! (Don't google it...It's not there yet.)

McCaffery said...

Thanks for another thought provoking topic and post. I didn't even know of FML... who knows why. Here is perhaps an indicator of one wanting to think the best about online abbreviations, which you might like...for years, I thought that LOL meant "Love Online." eeek...You would like that one, yes??

Shannon said...

Tony, this is the first time I have heard of FML...I truely believe that if you project negetivity, that is what you will get in return...since when is being negative cool or hip? What is society teaching our kids? I agree that we need to be a positive influence on those around us and not judge our entire existance by one or two bad experiences...thankyou for sharing this, God bless!

Momma Fargo said...

Very thought provoking post. I, too, did not know that acronym, nor will I ever use it!

Hopefully, you put some new thoughts out there for those that would think that way.

Healing Morning said...

I'm in the "didn't recognize it, wouldn't use it now that I know what it means" category. If this makes me an old fogie type of personality, then I embrace my stodgy-ness with enthusiasm!

Words are energy. Energy, once spoken, NEVER dies, people! Why then, as you have written so eloquently, Tony, would any of us speak such negativity?!?! Seriously!

I'm grateful for the way I was raised, which means I don't swear that often & when I do, it is rarely with vulgar content. It's with quaint old southernisms that make people laugh rather than cringe in distaste. I will never use such an acronym as the one you explained to us - thank you, btw, for the education about it. I'd rather be safe than sorry if I ever run across it, and at least know what it denotes.

Very well said, my friend - you speak my language, as another said in this thread. Keep speaking it and keep writing!

~ Dawn

Anonymous said...

There are many of them

FML (Fuck My Life):

MLIA (My Life is Average):

LML (Love My LIfe) :

MLIT (My Light is Twilight):

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Tony!! Attitude is everything in life & the longer we keep ourselves in a negative state the longer we deny ourselves the joy in every moment.

We all have bad days & we all experience negative feelings in our life. I believe in allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel but then to move beyond that negative feeling into a better place.



schmitz.88 said...

I can’t stand it when people use the acronym “FML” like your life isn’t that bad. These people are blessed than most people in this world and they don’t even realize it. They take everything for granted. Like yea life is hard but at least they have a somewhere to sleep or something to eat. A lot of college age and high school age students use the acronym “FML” In their facebook status. Like really find something positive to post up there. I think may people need to take a step back and take a look at their life and realize it is not as bad as they think it is.

Anonymous said...

You rock! TTSP is awesome. :)