Sunday, August 29, 2010

What're you gonna do about it?

The other day a group of friends were talking of the challenges we all face when something disrupts us–robs us of our “serenity” if you will. It is going to happen. We are a social species with free-will, and with that comes the frequent happenstance of an undesired situation entering our space.

Often it can seem like there are these “peace assassins” out to snipe us at any given moment. I had often spent a fair amount of my life assuming I was so cosmically important that the planets aligned, the gods convened to decide on how to disrupt me, and then they would send their minions out to pull off this dastardly deed, but now not so much.

Fortunately it takes a bit more nowadays to put me in the ditch.

I have become blessed with a few, but important realizations that carry me through this bumpy road called life.

I’m not that important! I am not so important that people got up 15 minutes early to pull in front of me in traffic and slow down. I am not so important that the little old lady with sixteen weeks of coupons, who finally got a ride to the grocery, got in line in front of me and forgot ketchup and needs to go get it just to see if I would come undone. God does not hate me and therefore did not decide to make it rain on my day off. My kids do not cry and fight to upset me. That is just their nature.

I may not be important, but I can have importance. One is a title I want others to pin on me, one is a title others want to pin on me.

Am I trying to own something that does not belong to me? I used to love to jump in the mix. As stated in my first point, often times we can see how easy it is to try to own a situation that does not belong to us. As it can be trying to smile through life’s little hiccups, it is also important to not go looking for a challenge. Often things do not happen to us as much as happen near us. We were just standing too close to the crap. Sometimes the only thing we have invested in a situation is proximity and timing.

Maybe we are trying to disown something we should personally tackle. Are you a claimer or a blamer? It is often much easier to find out why someone or something else is to blame for negative situations that befall us, but if indeed we have our role in it, we will eventually have to answer for it. The avoidance of a situation is often far worse than the eventual confrontation of it. It is like having a bully say, “I am going to kick your ass...someday!” Every day is a fearful challenge until we get closure from confronting that which haunts us. Often we cannot deal with the entirety of a situation, but we can answer for our own part in the play.

Remember this: “Nobody can piss us off without our permission!”

How much power are we willing to give to something no matter how trivial or monumental? What value are we instilling on the situation, opinion, or person that is creating the perceived disturbance? The more time, energy, and focus we place on the disturbance, the more we validate it as “worthy” of our undivided attention. Are we going to live our story or live or life?

As certain issues do require proactive opposition, they do not need to be made into any more of an assault than they really are. Maintaining your cool is Kryptonite to any a problem or person quickly diminishing their power over you.

So live life my friends and to the little things be damned! Find your path to happiness and share the path with others. To those of you who choose to stay still and whine, please keep your mouth shut as that just pisses me off. ; )


Myrna R. said...

Great post. Appreciate being reminded not to give my power away.

And I promise not to piss you off.

Anonymous said...

Nice thoughts supported with interesting examples:)